For incomprehensible reasons. I am trying to fix it
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The Tester Calls
(29 September 2020) Autumn arrives and the government state that all hospitality venues must chuck everybody out at 10.00pm, thus ensuring streets, buses etc are full of people. I am not sure how this assists “social distancing”; my uncertainty demonstrates my ignorance and the cleverness of the government and its advisors.
It is noticeable that there are issues around “Track’n Trace” (who sound like a 60’s light comedy act), which is needed to identify who requires testing. While it made sense (to the government at least) to build new testing capacity, rather than using all the labs around the country I reflected on the future.
Assuming we have not all succumbed to the disease and hoping those who refused the vaccine are regretting their decision there will be great over-capacity in testing facilities.
With this in mind and noting that early identification of a potential medical problem is often the best way to prevent it developing through early interventions there is an opportunity to use this capacity for a large cohort to have regular blood testing.
The simple point is that measuring blood over years not only trends in an individual’s health would be monitored but the large data set would be incredibly useful for research. I will write to Mr Hancock and share his reply.
Here is a picture of the police dealing with a curfew breaker.
Why vegetarians (and vegans) should NOT eat capers.
(14 July 2020) This week I am pleased to announce that I have uncovered a worldwide secret- one which will shame the acting profession. It has been hidden for centuries; only now will it be revealed.
I refer to the caper, a pointless pickled lump found in jars with no apparent purpose other than being another pizza topping.
It all started in the early half of the 18th Century with a jobbing gardener -Lancelot Brown.
He did bits and pieces for the wealthy in their gardens but his great love was the theatre and all his spare time was spent hanging around the theatrical scene in London. He was a well-known “face”, known as “Billy” to his friends.
One fine summer day he made the discovery that changed his life. Tidying up a scruffy corner in the grounds of a large country house he noticed something stirring in the undergrowth. Fortunately, he had a large magnifying class in his apron; peering through it he saw some tiny creatures scurrying about. He picked one up, inadvertently crushing it to death in his strong fingers. Immediately he was overwhelmed with extreme sadness and tears poured down his rugged features. Using his coarse woven smock to wipe away the tears he picked up another one and crushed it. He experienced the same feeling and marking the spot he collected some of the creatures for his return to London.
That evening he met Madelaine (an actor who in later life found fame when she moved to France and invented a small almond based cake). She was known for her comic abilities but had just gained a lead role in a serious drama requiring real tears on stage. She was worried about her ability to do this. Billy reached into his pocket and crushed a creature under her nose. She dissolved in floods of tears. Eureka! “What is that? she asked tearfully.
Hurriedly Billy thought of the way the creatures capered around their nest and blurted “capers”
He kept her supplied with a steady stock; she was a huge success bursting into tears when required, (and unsettling some of the audience in the front rows).
Billy started growing small caper colonies in all the gardens he worked on to maintain and increase his stock. His fame spread and suddenly he was in great demand by all those in the profession who required instant tears. His nickname became “Caper Billy Brown.”
He did not take money, just asked his clients to recommend his gardening skills, which they did gladly, thus providing him with such a steady income that he employed a small team of gardeners to do most of the work. He focussed on growing small caper colonies in hidden corners. Even today, should you be the kind of person who enjoys visiting 18th century gardens, go to a far south facing corner and there will be a slightly unkempt patch where the capers live.
As time moved inexorably on his name became corrupted to Capability Brown as Billy was seen as a proletarian name amongst the upper echelons.
Some actors were squeamish at crushing a live creature between their fingers; undaunted Billy experimented and found that by putting the creatures into a strong brine solution not only did their little legs drop off but that their lachrymose powers were retained. (They normally strain off the legs but if you inspect the bottom of a jar closely there are often one or two remaining).
Billy then went into serious production. Cleverly, once everyone was using “Billy’s Bottled Tears”, he created a rumour that these were exotic flower buds, grown overseas- a falsehood that still exists to this very day.
The use of capers remains a guilty secret in the acting profession. Actors like to show they can act; when asked how they manage to appear sad they talk earnestly of remembering their dead grandmother or dying children in a far-off continent. They never say they crush a small creature to get the required emotion.
How can you spot usage? It is concealed until you know how to look for it. When someone bursts into tears there is a close up of their face.
What you can’t see is the “Caper boy” (the person on set who guards the capers) kneeling down out of shot and crushing a caper. When the camera pans back the proffered handkerchief or sleeve is also caper infused to keep up the grief. In a particularly tragic scene, the stage directions will often state “a three-caper cry”.
Caper boy is a secret profession; I often watch every line of the credits in a movie (to see if the name of my son’s friend who I have met a couple of times appears under Lighting) and you never see “Caper Boy” This proves my point!!!
Ask anyone you know in the acting profession about this and examine their eyes closely as they reply. Note the tightening of the eyes and the over vehement denial, the scorn they express as they desperately try to change the subject. Then you will know this is true.!!
As further evidence, note the link below to a band who show an artist’s impression of capers with all their legs and a link to a song of theirs. The band have been around a while but the system has conspired to prevent them ever releasing a full LP. (I don’t like the song though I would not hold that against them). Observe also the unnaturally high voices, a tell-tale sign of over use of capers in the studio.
Thank you NHS
(13 March 2020) Not much more to say on Covid-19 except my paper said that 80% of us will get it and half a million will die. Which is a bit worrying.
However today I want to praise the NHS.
I had a cataract operation this week- at an outpost of Moorfields at a local hospital. It seemed to go well and all the staff were extremely courteous and professional. Inevitably, and quite reasonably, they had a session that processed six people in a batch so I was there a few hours.
Nevertheless, it was still at no cost to me other than a cab home. In the USA it would have cost at least $4,000 and possibly more if it was complicated. So much and many plaudits for our glorious NHS.
However my rant is about one of the patients who complained bitterly about not being first on the list (they actually prioritised the order so the people who appeared quite ill went first), not appreciating what they were getting. It demonstrates the false expectation of entitlement and one I will return to in future posts. Sadly I did not remonstrate with him as he had someone with him who was also angry and had many more muscles than those that protrude from my body.
Oh well; here’s a kitten.
COVID – 19 part 2
This whole story is starting to dominate the news.
I have two thoughts.
First, shortages in the shops demonstrate how fragile modern society is.
Let’s say I buy one particular thing every weekly shop at the supermarket.
Panicked by the newspaper headlines, it is quite rational of me to buy two of them when I shop.
However if everybody does that a variant of that hundred per cent increase in demand will inevitably cause shortages.
The story of the shortage causes further panic and people start buying more things.
Then there is a shortage.
Then people start profiteering.
The moral of this is to be sensible though I am not sure everybody will be.
A second thought is one of puzzlement. It is quite clear how the virus originated, it is a zoonotic infection.
But a surprising number of people fuel the Internet with strange conspiracy theories.
This leads to more panic and more worry.
Therefore, what puzzles me, is why so many people are prepared to believe anything but the ordinary mundane truth.
Here are a couple of links for some simple debunking.
At least here is a kitten to cheer you up.
The Corona virus-COVID-19
This whole story is quite scary as one begins to wonder whether it will be the event at the beginning of the end, a precursor of it or just another bad thing.
Those of us who watch post apocalyptic movies particularly, will be struck by the similarities to a zombie movie. Over the opening credits you see newspaper headlines and ticker-tape under the news; it starts with a case or two here or there, there is the first death, it spreads to other countries and then quarantine kicks in.
Then tipping point is when the infected break out of quarantine and start to rampage. I believe the government are, or probably should be, making plans to cut off the Wirral Peninsula.
However the most serious point and the one we would all like to know, is what chance one has of dying if one contracts the virus.
The winter flu, with which we are all familiar, has a death rate of roughly one in 10,000 cases. This figure came from a serious and impenetrable American website; it does the calculations and is useful if you understand statistics. American Statistics
Public Health England also publish an annual lengthy report which you might find interesting though it does not seem to spell out the odds of dying from Flu. http://Flu Report 18-19
Of course, for the winter flu many people are vaccinated which is not the case in the current situation, so crudely, with around 60% of over 60s vaccinated we could double the rate to two in 10,000 cases.
So to repeat what are the odds of dying from COVID-19?
The BBC, helpfully, have this information in a drop-down menu at the bottom of the page below, (the bit people don’t usually scroll down to) BBC story
If you are healthy then they quote 0.9% or crudely 90 in 10,000 cases but for the elderly, vulnerable or ill it rises to 11% or roughly one 1,100 in 10,000 cases.
So it seems we should not ignore it, take the sensible hygiene precautions and, in my view, ensure you have enough food at home to ensure you for can self isolate for up to three weeks.
Bit grim but here’s a picture of a kitten to cheer you up.
Labour shortages mean higher wages
(20 February 2020) There seems to be a bit of a fuss, at the moment, about the Government’s proposals to further restrict immigration. I imagine they know what they are doing though some suggest the motives are political rather than economic.
Some businesses have bemoaned the fact that they rely on foreign workers- especially the low paid, as British residents won’t take the jobs.
This is a demonstration of the principle of failure to understand that the world is dynamic, ever changing and not static.
For example,a popular sandwich chain complained that a tiny % of their job applications in London were from British nationals. They, rightly, wish to continue their business at current levels.
However the sandwich and light refreshment industry need not be so large. Every High Street is full of such places.
If they are only inexpensive and convenient due to the low wages paid to front line staff and most of us can probably make our own sandwiches is there actually a need for so many?
Simple economics tells us that an increase in wages and improvement in conditions would lead to more job applications, raise prices and reduce the number of such establishments.
Is that necessarily a bad thing?
Similarly basic agricultural work would raise prices – but it also increases the wages of the workers so they can now afford to buy more expensive sandwiches (if they wanted to). Etc. Simple Keynesian economics.
People have pointed out the issues with the social care industry but this is wider than just low wages and is actually about the failure of successive governments to set up a proper Social Care Service.
Finally a Universal Basic Income (or negative income tax as it was known in the past) scheme would provide a sensible underpinning for many of the basic but necessary roles required in society. I will return to this at a future date
And here is a picture of a kitten.
Shouting at the Internet
(14 January 2020) In a harsh and puzzling world, with the weather becoming more extreme, inequality and the oceans rising and foodbanks in one of the richer countries in the world I think we are at the edge of a new paradigm.
We, since roughly the mid 1660s, have been in the Age of Expansion. This was characterised by new resources becoming available as the planet was explored and exploited . However we are reaching natural limits and cannot continue as we were. To survive as a species we need to enter what I, provisionally, call The Age of Sustainability . Over the coming months I intend to explore this.
I have also never built a website so it will take some time to work it out and to avoid being too grim I will put on some pictures of kittens.